Transforming Perceptions

These past few years have brought a whirlwind of emotions between becoming employed, moving half-way across the country, and finally having the ability to focus on myself, my weight loss, and my faith. This blog is a reflection of all of these items and how they interact with each other.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Serving Others

Maybe I'm just ultra sensitive, and granted everyone has a bad day, but how bad can your day really be to be *that* nasty??? It was around 4pm, and I was heading to the bathroom, but noticed that the janitor was cleaning it, no biggie, there's another one upstairs, another one downstairs, and another one at the other end of the hallway. So I opted to turn around and use the one at the end of the hallway. As I did, this woman started going off at the janitor, "Why are you cleaning the bathrooms in the middle of the day? Who is your superviosr? WHO IS YOUR SUPERVISOR????"...blah blah blah. This janitor is one of the nicest janitors we have and he works really hard compared to a few other ones that I've seen. Nobody has the right to treat ANY human that way! No matter how superior you feel to anybody else! As God has taught me, learn how to serve those who serve you. That's what I do. I serve those who serve me - I try to help out deployed men and women, and any other man or woman in a service position helping the world around us. And even those other positions that many people do not appreciate, the maids, the janitors, the cleaners...where would you be in this world without them? Everyone has value and needs to be appreciated.

So how do I appreciate and serve somebody who is *nasty* and mean? I guess I'll have to look to God for that answer.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

You can't please everyone...

I have come to the conclusion that you cannot please everyone, therefore, I really should stress out about it because no matter what you do, somebody is probably not going to be happy.

Oh well...maybe I'll please them the next time around...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

What would you do if you saw a car flip over?

What would you do if you saw a car flip over on the highway? Continue on as if nothing happened? I'm serious...what would you do?

Here is what I would do. I would swerve to the breakdown lane, call 911, and then sit/stand, hold one of their hands, and talk them through it until help came. What would I talk to them about, anything that happened that day, where I was, where I was going, what I was doing, anything to keep them awake and preoccupied. If somebody was already doing all this, I would stand on the side to wait and give the police my account as a witness.

So why am I asking this question? I want people to really think about what their reaction would be to something like this because I nearly witnessed something like this tonight. We finished up small group (bible study) early, around 8:00pm, and Rachel and I stood and talked a little by our cars. I left Beaners at 8:15. As I approached the Jolly Road exit, I saw a few breaklights way in front of me. I debated about whether or not taking the exit, but decided to wait through the traffic. I assumed that it was just an accident at the 496/127 split, the drivers are usually crazy around there. I noticed everyone getting into the left lane, so I hopped over (it's a two lane highway). At this point everyone was getting annoyed and started doing illegal U-turns on the highway (good job everyone, let's have another accident happen). I patiently waited, and all of a sudden about 5 police cars, 2 firetrucks, and 2 ambulances darted to the left of us. I did the holy cross and said a prayer. One police car turned around and it looked like they were detouring everyone off the Jolly Road exit. The car behind me was leaning as far left as possible because he wanted to either 1. see what was happening or 2. decide if he wanted to do an illegal U-turn as well if the traffic was backed up too far. Off of one of the bigger trucks in front of me, I saw lights shine off of it, so I knew we were getting close. I also noticed three cars on the other side of the road in their left hand breakdown lane (which really isn't one, but they pulled onto the median grass as well), one in which had a door wide open. My heart kind of leaped, I knew something major had happened...I hoped one of those illegally parked cars on the highway was a doctor. At this time I also saw a HUGE truck partially in the left hand lane, but mainly in the right hand lane with a sign saying "Oversize/Overload"...he parked right behind the rolled over SUV so that they were protected. He was the only car on our side of the road that had stopped for these people. I got a full view of what all the police, firefighters, and EMTs were doing. They already had one person out of the SUV onto a stretcher. I said another prayer for them knowing full well that I could have been right there with them if I had not talked to Rachel a little longer after our small group. Maybe God was looking out for me.

But this had me thinking...would you stop for a stranger to help them? Or would you prefer not to get involved? Granted you do not want to crowd the scene, but if you witness it, wouldn't you want to do something? This world is so bitter and so cold sometimes, it hurts to think about it. I think that's why I admire men in uniform because for the most part, they stand for something, they believe in something and that something is usually other than themselves. This image will haunt me forever...just like that deer.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Building Relationships

After this weekend's service at Riverview Church, I could not help but think about everything that has been going on in my life. I had just gotten back from vacation, where I thought I was going home, but it was not home anymore. I got back to Michigan, and yet it did not feel like home here either. So what and where is home? Some say that home is where the heart is. Well, I just got back from where I thought my heart was, and it definitely was not home. So I dived a little bit deeper into thought and prayer, and after Steve's sermon, this is now what I'm thinking...

I have lived in Michigan for nearly a year and a half, and granted I have some true friends here, but I would still feel comfortable picking up and leaving because I do not feel emotionally attached to Michigan. I came to Michigan with this perception, that I did NOT want to be tied down in Michigan because I was NOT going to spend FOREVER in Michigan - why would I? This mentality has hindered many potential close relationships because if I became close to anybody, it would then be harder to leave, and that is the last thing I want because after all, I am NOT supposed to be in Michigan for the rest of my life.

It's not about me. It's about Him, and His plans and lessons for me. I still think Michigan is a temporary dwelling for me, but that's because I don't want to settle here, I don't want to make this place feel permanent. But it's about what God wants, and apparently he wants me to stay awhile.

I questioned God so much when I was offered my job out here, and he repeatedly had to show me that I needed to follow Him. I was uncomfortable with that decision, but knew it was the right one. I was giving up a wonderful church that I finally became comfortable in. I was moving far, far, far away from my family and best friends. I knew nothing and pretty much nobody upon moving to Michigan. But on my drive to Michigan, I kept thinking about it will be a fresh start. So why am I so scared to let people in and to see me? I know I hate being judged and feel that God is the only one who can and shall judge, but I feel...like a fish out of water (and as a Pisces, you know I need that water for survival). I feel like it's this huge domino effect. If I let somebody get to know me, they will either judge me or not. So some will become friends, and therefore it will make my future leaving harder to do. But notice how all this confusion is coming from not living in the moment, but living for something in the future that may or may not happen? The irony!

My favorite Christian worship song...

I Will Not Forget You

Many men will drink the rain
And turn and thank the clouds
Many men will hear You speak
They will never turn around

But I will not forget You
You are my God and my King
With a thankful heart
I bring my offering

And my sacrifice is
Not what You can give
But what I alone can
Give to You

A grateful heart I give
A thankful prayer I pray
A wild dance I dance before You
A loud song I sing
A huge bell I ring
A life of praise I live before You

Many men will pour their gold
And serve a thing that shines
Many men will read Your words
They will never change their minds

Label: Maranatha, Integrity & Vineyard Praise Band

Only in Canada...

Only in Canada...(revisited)

1. ...do Canadians drive faster than me, but when I'm back in the U.S., I'm flying by them.
2. ...would you see an 18 wheeler with at least a thousand pigs.
3. ...you have a large enough merging lane to actually be going fast enough to merge into traffic on a highway.
4. ...you have speed limits in kilometers per hour (okay, so most of the world is like this...but it's weird to *this* American).
5. ...I would get pulled over and get my car searched before legally entering the country to pass through on my way to New York.
6. ...you will see pedestrians wandering around the highway.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Quotes

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. ~ by Erich Fromm ~


Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same. ~ by Flavia Weedn ~

Bridal Shower


My good friend and me at her bridal shower - June 16, 2005.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


My friend's wedding on July 2, 2005.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Morning-After Pill

The FDA has until September 1st to decide whether or not the morning-after pill should be available in stores without having to get a prescription. Their next question that they have to answer is: should there be an age restriction?

If you allow the morning-after pill to be sold over the counter, what is the point in getting a prescription for regular birth control? Why not allow that to be sold over the counter as well?

A few things will happen because of this:
1. Essential communication will be eliminated between doctor and patient concerning personal sexual activity,
2. Less condom usuage, therefore increasing the number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases and HIV,
3. Sexual intercourse is a gift from God for two people who are in a significant relationship, promiscuity may increase, and
4. If an age restriction is not set, teens may feel pressured to have sex earlier.
The other side argues that this will reduce the number of unintended pregnancies, and an age restriction should not be set because anybody else can buy it for them. Y'know, kinda like the whole cigarette thing with 18+ year olds buy cigarettes for those under the age limit. WELL, are there not strict laws for anybody who is caught doing this? A child needs to think clearly about the consequences of their actions - would they truly understand what they are doing when they take that pill? They would probably view it as taking the "magic pill." Besides, has there been extensive research if somebody takes these pills daily? Women will be messing with their hormones, there could be complications if they rely to heavily on this morning-after pill.

People have every opportunity to have a prescription on hand in case something like this occurs; it's a matter of convenience. Since when did the healthcare system want to be convenient? And how much is one of these pills going to cost without a prescription? We all know the out-of-pocket costs there are associated with Claritin, which used to be prescription based.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

WOO-HOO!!!!

Woo-Hoo!!!! I can work out tomorrow!!! Yippee!!!

So you're probably wondering what all that is about it. It's pretty simple to explain - I had sun poisoning. I got it from our canoe trip. I had two huge blisters on my legs, from my knees to my ankles completely across the shins. Monday night, one of them popped, and it's just been crappy ever since. My legs are still pretty nasty looking, but I can move them so much better, to the point where it doesn't hurt now! WOO-HOO!!! Look out world, here I come!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Are People Really That Shallow?

On Friday, I headed into Boston to meet up with my sophomore roommate from college. I took the T in, and obviously the England bombings entered my mind for a few brief moments. I had not seen Laurie since graduation over 3 years ago, we would send each other cards every now and then, but it was so good to talk with her. We went shopping around Quincy Market and just "caught up" with one another. We ended up having lunch at Cheers. :) I can officially now say I've been there. On my way back to my car, something interesting did occur, but could have been nothing. A security guy was patrolling the subway car, and this guy who was sitting near where I was standing, ran out of the subway car at the next stop. The security guy followed him. Hmmmm...interesting. This was also the same day the bomb squad blew up a suspicious package in Cambridge...a stop or two east of where I originally caught the T.

My best friend's mom makes the best dumplings ever! So when they got home from the gym, that's what I got for dinner. Yum! After that, my best friend and I chatted and we got ready to go out into Boston. We met up with another college friend - Amiela. She rocks. We went to THE RACK in Boston, definitely an older crowd, but had a blast. We were taking a break from dancing, and a guy came over to talk to us (gutsy move). He struck up a conversation with me, and after he left, my best friend turns to me, "Wow Michelle, you just made his night." I looked at her and asked, "Why do you say that?" She said, "You're probably the only girl that will probably talk to him tonight." I know my friends would have talked to him, but he clearly was interested in getting to know me. Afterwards, this had me thinking though, would have other girls ignored him? Would people still be that shallow? I'm not going to lie, I've been there, done that, I used to be that shallow, but as I have grown up, I have enjoyed learning what I want in a guy that I date, and the foremost important quality a guy has to have is humor, and the second is that he challenges me to be a better person.

After we left the bar/club, we were walking down the street to catch a cab, and we passed a group of guys on motorcycles. I LOVE motorcycles and would love to ride one some day. They were joking around with Amiela about her parachute pants, and as we kept walking, one yelled out, "Hey you in the blue skirt, you wanna go for a ride?" I turned around and said, "If it was any other night, that would be a yes!" If I was wearing pants, that could have lead to a different answer, but it was also 1:30am and I am quite sure they had a few drinks. If it was earlier, that may have lead to a different answer as well. :) Some day I'll ride a motorcycle. LOL

Monday, August 01, 2005

Camping on the Saco River

My car was pretty much fine, a few things needed to be done, so I was able to get on the road by 11am, about 4 hours later than expected. When I got to my best friend's place, we packed up the rest of car and took off. We decided to reverse our plans, and ended up doing Water Country on Tuesday. From there, we headed to the White Mountains for our canoe trip with Northern Extremes. About 15 minutes south of North Conway, NH, we decided to camp at White Ledge (I believe this was the one). We pulled up to a site, and put our tent up in the dark. All night we heard something dropping onto our tent, but didn't think anything of it. We woke up in the morning and saw all these carpenter ants on our tent. Looks like we were camping on top of their home. It was a rough night; sleeping on gravel.

We headed up to North Conway for our canoe trip; I decided that we should do the 20 mile trip. As we were packing up the van to go down to the river with Northern Extremes, these other guys were going to head down to the river as well. They had come from New York for this trip. These two guys did not have any of their stuff packed, so we waited for them. The driver was getting frustrated. We finally got to our drop off point, and we were supposed to pick up fire permits there, but nobody was around. Bummer. We left without it at 10:40am. I did not know what to expect of this river or this trip. I was pretty shocked at how shallow the Saco River was. My best friend and I decided that we were going to stop between 12:30pm and 1pm for lunch. So we paddled and paddled and floated and floated, dashing tree limbs and rocks. It was so sunny, you would have never thought that they were predicting thunderstorms. Upon arrive to the beach we were going to have lunch at, I fell out of the canoe. The canoe didn't tip, but I fell out of it. :) By this time I already had a burn on my legs (and burn blisters forming), so the scratches on my knees didn't help.

A couple hours after lunch, the sky had gotten dark. We didn't hear any thunder, so we weren't worried. All of it sudden, it started raining and then downpoured for about 15 minutes. The cool rain felt good on our burnt bodies. After we passed the second bridge, we thought we had heard thunder (but could have been traffic on the bridge), so we pulled off the river and waited for a little while. My best friend wanted to go a little further, so we went another mile. By then, we really thought it was thunder, so we set up camp at the 12 mile marker, or as I now call it, Mosquito Haven. I was wearing both sunscreen/bug lotion and bug spray and I was still attacked by a thousand mosquitos! Luckily we really had one mosquito that survived in the tent, otherwise we were only safe in there. Packing up in the morning, though, was rough! My best friend slept on a frog. LOL

The river ate my best friend's sunglasses, she had them on her hat, readjusted her hat, and they went *plump* into the river. Later, she was trying to swat the blackflies and her hat flew out of her hands and into the river. Luckily that floated. She was in such a panic that I was paddling backwards to turn around and she was paddling forward...wasn't working very well. In the end, I was able to balance the hat on my paddle and save it. LOL

We then took a wrong turn and went through a mini rapids area. :) That was fun! Heeheehee. During the whole trip we ran into about three trees, two rocks, and hit bottom four or five times. :) The Bog was beautiful!

We ended up getting to our pick up point early and we were exhausted. I couldn't wait to take a shower! That night we saw the Fantastic 4 in the movie theater, the first movie I had seen in about 2.5 years.